so here goes my vows
Aurora I cannot begin to put into words how much you mean to me and make it come out right but you told me I had to so here goes....
You ignored me for a good three years then one night a little box came up on the computer screen and it said "who the hell are you" or some sort. Then I explained it all and you started acknowledging me. If I recall it was a week or so before my birthday and we spent several night thereafter talking and ignoring the rest of the world ( well I know I was you might have been shaking your behind for all the other menfolk on the internets).
We talked about telemarketers and past loves and what not.
Things progressed and you let me call you and we spent several days and I thought "she has a nice voice". Things progressed further to "lotion time" and I had mentioned that a mutual friend was having a party and you decided you needed a mini-vacation and for a couple of days. I was going to wear a well placed red sock but that didn't happen.
As I recall you stepped off the plane wearing black boots, jeans, a stripped shirt, and the other piece of clothing that I got a peek at on the bone chilling ride to the Enterprise lot on board that scary ass bus....things went to shit and we hopped a cab to Hoffner and we chit chatted for awhile and I kept thinking how you were the most wonderful woman I have ever met and how much I loved everything about you. We got some hot wings and cuddled for the rest of the night.
The next day you decided I needed some new clothes and we went to the Florida Mall and we got the green shirt, khaki shorts, and the corderoy shorts. We went out to karaoke that night then went to hang out at Aimee's where I got a toothache and you cuddled till I fell asleep (thank you)
Then came the aforementioned party ... we hung out some Moore and then we sort of mingled with others and I believe at some point you and Mama Nikki...I went to find you to check up but she found me first and said, "Congrats" and I'm like "for what" and she was like "Rora said she was going to marry you" and I must have got the Jared face. I didn't know how to take it but I went with it anyhow thinking that I was THE MAN. I finally found you and recalled what was mentioned to me and you said what was said was true so I guess we were engaged to house music and vicks vapo cream.
We went back to hoffner the next day as you had to pack and I was sad thinking how can I ever let her go but alas if you didn't leave the rest of the story wouldn't have happened.
At the airport I was still thinking I could never let you go I cried the whole way home but had Mr. Kitty to keep me company. I couldn't figure out where my flannel or my pillow case was though. When you got to N.H. you called me to tell me to pack my shit and get ready to be a yankee again as I was one of your christmas presents from Liz...It was the only way she could get you to stop crying.
Three days later I was N.H. bound as my dirty laundry was deemed safe by the TSA and the rest is history.
You mean so much to me I don't think I can do it justice in words. I want to be a better person because of you...I want to die before you so I don't have to live a day without you as you complete me.
If the rest of our lives is as much fun as the last five years there will be nothing that (seriously not in the vows I totally had an incomplete thought and put nothing here so I pretty much winged this whole part in parenthesis )
I will spend the rest of my life loving everything about you and obey you because I guess it's like that. From this day forward we will no longer be a couple but a single whole. And for that I pledge my whole life to you on this the fifth anniversary of our very first meeting
My only hope for the future is to win just one argument. You can put that right on my box as you put me right by my dad "HE WON ONE"
Thank you for being my lover and my soulmate and giving me the honor of being your husband
